When you go into the B&Q at Fratton Way, Portsmouth you have two choices. You can pick a trolley up at the entrance or, if you are only looking for a few things, you can go inside and end up trying to carry everything in your arms, because for some bizarre reason there are no shopping baskets

Once you've passed through the one way security gate it's too late to go back and grab a trolley. You have to go to the exit at the other end of the warehouse and then back around to the entrance again. You don't really believe your eyes. There must be baskets. You look left and right, and repeat the process a few times, beginning to feel more than a bit stupid. There must be baskets. There are lots of orange B&Q  buckets, but there are no shopping baskets. When you turn towards the cash registers there are still none, not even an empty basket tidy. There are none of those either. B&Q at Portsmouth just don't offer shopping baskets.

As I went up the central aisle for the fourth time looking for nails, my arms awkwardly cradling three tubes of flexible polyfilla, two paint rollers, one tube of wood paint, one UPV cleaner and one pipe tidy I wondered why on earth there weren't baskets, why they didn't have a map somewhere and why, instead of having a fancy coffee shop they couldn't just concentrate on the basics of customer service first, like having a shopping basket..

They probably want you to take a trolly, so that you'll be suckerd into buying more goods than you need. You can picture the scene there you are walking along through the maze of isles and you see another DIYer with an overflowing trolly and he/she smirks at you as if to say "minor leaguer".

The reason they d'ont have maps to help you is so that you will ask for help. But when you do you will get the "whaaaat answer"

DIY stores are'nt like normal shops you must buy big to have any "street cred" and then spent 2 hours strapping all the bigger pieces to the top/side and boot of the car. You can then head off down the Motorway unable to see properly swaying from side to side whilst the police look on "saying he/she has just been to B&Q".

Of course for those who like to get the evil DIY over with as quickly as possible doing the circuit to get back in again is a waste of time and effort.

And no they don't want to stop for a "frappucinno" or "lathe" while they consider how best to wreck the house by doing it themselves....

I think the idea is they will see no baskets and instead curse colourfully under their breath and pick up one of the 99p orange buckets to use as a basket.

I heard DIY retail sales are in decline. Perhaps B&Q are tring to boost theirs by selling more of their own brand orange buckets.