Watch out guys, if you have been adding Activia to your shopping basket you could be accused of being a gay or a girl. This yogurt is as feminine as tampons and panty liners. This was lost on me until I saw the current TV advert for the product which alienates male consumers by using the words "every female" instead of "everyone" in the sentence "I have every female in my family eating it".

The message is simple. It's a girls product. Guys don't eat it. I am a guy, I shouldn't eat Activia yogurt. I wrote to Danone for clarity. A spokeswoman from the UK Danone Careline responded to my email saying it was "fine for men as well". Rather than being assured, the reply made me more apprehensive as it read more like "you shouldn't have any side effects you freak".

I have dropped Activia from my shopping list since seeing the advert. The email did not attempt to get it back on there. I guess men eating Activia is something they can't be seen to condone. If you are male and eat Activia consult a specialist, you need help.

The response from Danone:

Good afternoon

Thank you for your e-mail. Activia is fine for men as well as women.

The core target audience for Activia is women aged 30-45+. This is why we advertise with women only, around this age. We are aware that men also consume Activia, but understand this is low compared to the number of female consumers; hence our advertising is targeted at women. We have not ruled out men in advertising and this is something we may do in the future.

Ah shit, I've been eating Activia for ages, I wonder if this is the reason why I have man boobies. Additionally I found myself looking at a pair of lemon trousers in M&S last week, could these be the side effects ?

 Christ back to yoplait for me.