As all us know there has been an explostion of the practise of newspapers giving out free CD's and DVD's in order to entice us to buy their newspaper. This is particularily prevalent in the Sunday market. Before now I never took much notice of what was issued as I buy newspapers for editorial content as opposed to what they are giving away.

Last Sunday was no different, I got up and travelled to the local shop to buy the three newspapers that I always buy. The Sunday Independent is the only one of the three that gives away a free CD or DVD. It was a CD this week.

I arrived back home made myself a cup of coffee and spread out the papers on the dining table settled in for my weekly two hour read. An hour had passed and I noticed my 5 year old boy sitting in the lounge with a pair of headphones on swaying from side to side with a smile of an innocent on his face,I thought nothing of it until he came into the kitchen humming "LADY IN RED" yes "LADY IN RED". I leapt from my seat and asked him where did he get the CD? he replied from the newspaper. The free CD was a compliation of Chris de Burgh songs.

As a parent I was horrified, you try to raise your children correctly and teach them the difference from right and wrong and how to stay safe. Yet you have national newspapers issuing material that will inflict physiological damage on our children and they are doing this with the full legal backing of the government.

If we as parents do not stop this we will be faced with young people humming and singing songs from Johnny Logan, Sir Cliff Richard, and Foster and Allen. We must react to this threat in the same way that we would react if there was drugs being sold outside the school gate.

Please ensure that such CDs are destroyed, not returned as they could make their way to the third world and they have enough problems to deal with.

Now I must leave you and make up a CD with music that will purge the "LADY IN RED" from my innocent little boys mind.(suggestions please)

I thought things were at an end when I discovered you could download "The Lady in Red" as a polyphonic ringtone to your mobile phone. I can only say I am now horrified to hear the deBurgh cult has managed to get the Independent to circulate a compilation of Chris de Burghs best. I thought the EC was there to protect our rights?

I remember seeing the first performance of "the Lady in Red" on the Late Late Show in 1986. That was when Gay Byrne was presenter and you could actually watch the programme, unlike today (but that's another story).

Chris's wife was in the audience, and he sang the song to her. After watching it, the term, EC cheese mountain, took on a whole new meaning for me.

I've just had a peep at some recent national newspaper 'freebies'. They were thrown on top of eah other in the corner and are as follows;

Sunday Times:

Hideous Kinky (15) - Kate Winslet (Basic lust in the dust stuff)

Heat and Sust (15) - Geeta Scacchi (Need I say more)

Highlander (15) - Hurrah, there can be only one.

Donnie Darko (15) - Great viewing for the kids just before bedtime !!

News of the World:

Mona Lisa (15) - Bob Hoskins et al (Another real bedtime treat for the 5's and under)

Up Pompeii (15) - Mount Vesuvius (and everything else) errupting

My Point:

Forget about blooming Chris De Burgh and his witless pals, and clean up your front room so your kids can't get there greasy mits on all this PORN !! It could effect them for the rest of their lives if we don't vet this monster invading our living rooms secreted within the Nationals.

By thw way, if papers give away DVD's etc., why don't we get free papers when we buy DVD's? Equal Rights for DVD's and CD'

s..

The best thing you can do to counteract your son from being assimilated by "the Burgh" is to immerse him in the songs and culture of Majella's husband. Majella maintains a website for her husband which is filled with great stuff, including a photo gallery, details of tour dates etc. To visit it click here . It's a must see.