If you purchased something on the internet you needed to return, would you be reassured by a customer service policy which stated "You should not contact .... [the returns] office... to see how your....[return].... is progressing. As you can appreciate, dealing with constant phone calls can further delay the processing time"?

This service policy would suggest a number of things. (1) customer care is not valued (2) the number of returns is high (3) the company doesn't have an effective system.

In fact, I think this policy [authored by HMRC]  is a swing too far for the plain English campaign. This policy quite simply translates as "f### off".