Ed Joyce, Irishman but batting for the other side, England, has really annoyed me with comments that he made on Sky News yesterday. When asked if there was any inside information that he had about the Irish Cricket team that he could pass on to his "team mates' ahead of tomorrows Super-8 match he replied something like "obviously I know the lads well and I also know what to expect from them, there are a few that have come into the team since I moved on, and I dont know them" it was the smirk on his face that got me going.

Ed Joyce is a good cricketer, indeed without him Ireland would not have qualified for this World Cup, and I respect the choice of anybody to move to further enhance their career, but for feck sake show some respect to your fellow countrymen, you were after all born in Bray, and I cant believe that just because you are batting for England you need to become so anglosised in front of the media.

Well lets hope he does'nt get out to a "full toss" or a "yorker" in the first over, for if that were to happen the "friendly media" will be very quick to accuse him of misdeeds, a feck it lets hope he does go for a duck, its only a game.

I feel we have a chance here to-morrow we'll have to bat, bowl, and field well, something that I know we can do as we kicked serious ass thus far, England are'nt great as shown in the New Zealand game, and I feel we can win, and get all the "English' players into trouble. D'ont get me wrong it w'ont be easy but its very possible.

Enjoy and heres to another famous Irish win........ dont blame me if they win and you did'nt stick a fiver on them.

This what we're up against, no worries

Why is that when you order a simple black coffee in Starbucks you are left to feel meek. I had occasion to visit a Starbucks last week whilst I was in Dublin, and when I asked for a "Black Coffee" the girl asked "is that all you want?. I thought to myself why the silly question. Then to further increase my frustration I had to queue up to pay another person for my coffee and I was safely waiting 3 minutes before being handed my "Black Coffee".

When I was putting sugar into my coffee I noticed a lot of well dressed people lounging about in Starbucks chairs reading newspapers or working on laptops. I began to muse does anybody work in offices anymore, or has it come to pass that Starbucks is now the preferred office workspace in the world?. Another thing struck me why is the coffee in Starbucks 80c more expensive that all other convience stores, you dont get served any quicker, and the coffee does'nt taste any different, well I only drink black coffee, so I dont know about the sexy coffees, but feel free to have your say.

This to me is marketing gone mad, we are systematically being homogenised by these companies, Apple with their "I mac, I'm PC" campaign to if you want to be sexy you'd better buy this coffee. Well I for one will never go into Starbucks again I am happy to go into an ordinary shop and fill my own cup with coffee, walk to the checkout, say good morning to the shop assistant, pay for my coffee, and leave, I have a life to live.............................

I needed to get a suit cleaned in my new local dry cleaners today. I went to the shop with my suit and the following ensued..

• Shop Assistant (S.A) "Is this your first time here?"
• Me, "Yes"
• SA, "Name, Address, Telephone and email if you have one"
• Me "What do you want all that information for, all I want is for you to clean a suit for tomorrow"
• SA "I'm only doing my job, its our policy to get this information so that we can contact you with special offers"
• Me "I d'ont want to give you my personal details, as I have no guarantee that the information is secure, and I additionally have no guarantee that the information will not be sold to spammers"
• SA "We'll only keep it on the computer"
• Me " Do you have a written agreement that clearly states that you will not issue my details to anyone?"
• SA "You'll need to speak to the owner about that".
• Me " I'll blog it on reallyannoyings##t, it will attract more readers".
• SA "Sigh"
• Me "Will my suit be ready in the morning"?
• SA "Yes".

So there you have it, we live in an age of Identity theft and your local "Pressed 4 Time" Dry cleaners want all your details so that you can get your clothes dry cleaned. For feck sake if this happens to you do not give your information for free.

I have just completed a shop at Nestors Super Value in Oranmore, Co Galway. This place has to be the dirtiest supermarket that I have ever been in, its filthy. It is so bad, my daughter walked around certain sections of the shop with her fingers pressed on her nose, saying "Daddy what is that smell"?.

Additionally here are a few more things that reallyannoys me about the place

• The Trolleys are filthy and rusted, and half of them d'ont work properly.
• Inspecting Super value "chilli peppers" I discovered mould on the stem of at least 6 packets.
• Green peppers also had mould.
• Brocholli had a much life in it as Jimmy Hoffa
• Dairy area smelled of sour milk, its does'nt take a lot to wipe this down with a bucket of soapy water, every couple of hours
• Shelves are filthy.
• The strongest area where the smell could be detected was the wine area.
• Pieces of plastic sheeting were simply left on the floor by the "helpful staff" after stacking the shelves, couple this with leaving the trollies unattended in the asiles.

On the plus side the girl who checked me out was pleasant and actually helped me pack my bags, so a least they have one employee that has a little pride in what she is doing.

It's disgraceful and yet we will go back in silence....

Todays Observer issued a free CD "Artists taking action on Climate Change" I have listened to it and its not bad, at least its not Chris de Burgh which helps. I began to wonder if people who d'ont like the music will they do with the CD?. The answer is on the back of the CD, you can return it Friends of the Earth at 26-28 Underwood Street, London N1 7JQ.

I live in Ireland so if I was to return this CD I presume that it would have to travel by air to London so that it would be "recycled", would'nt the fact of returning it add to climate change? Why could'nt Friends of the Earth put the music on a website to be downloaded for free, with a password given in the newspaper, that way those who wanted it would get it ,and those who did'nt want it would'nt. And why are they advocating the use of transport, and increasing carbon emmissions?.

Come on lads "outside the box" its 2007 we all have the internet

The Observer today reported that the UK Government will tell all women who are pregnant should not drink alcohol or not to drink alcohol while trying to become pregnant. The new proposed guidlines may include sticking warning labels on bottles of wine, spirits and beer.

As expected the Drinks Industry are'nt overly impressed with this saying that the governments own advice to expectant mothers, allows them to have up to two units a day for a couple of days a week. Being pregnant is'nt the most pleasant experience of a womans life, as discomfort in the shape of back-pain, swollen ankles etc.makes the 40 weeks difficult, so why are the UK government now placing more fear into womens minds, by suggesting that an occasional glass of wine, or a glass of Guinness, will in someway harm the baby that they are carrying.

I am not advocating binge drinking while a woman is pregnant, and alcohol in excess is bad for you,indeed anything in excess is bad for you, but this playing on peoples fears is wrong.My own mother, does'nt drink at all and had 5 of us,while pregnant she had ,along with other wierd cravings like licking washed coal?,  a 1/2 pint bottle of Guinness every Friday night, I think she may have put warm milk into it on occasion, and we all turned out alright. When my own wife was pregnant , we asked if it would be ok to have a glass of wine with dinner, to which the doctor replied of course, it'll be good for you and the baby as you will become relaxed, he did point out that moderation is key. We as expectant parents knew that "going on the piss" was'nt the best for baby, so why is the UK government treating people like complete moron's?

Indeed The Royal College of Midmives has said that it does not tell people to give up drinking totally, and while they say "going dry" was the most favoured route,"we don't feel there is anything wrong with having the odd drink" but the govenment will probably say "what would they know?".

It is also reported that people who want to become pregnant should not drink, for feck sake, half of the people in this world are as a result of a nice romantic night out, and a prolonged cuddle afterwards. I can see a young couple out for dinner to celebrate their anniversary, holding hands, looking lovenly at each other, knowing that its time to start a family, the waiter comes and asks what wine they would like, they reply none two glasses of milk please... it just does'nt work.

Would'nt it be nice for the money that will be spent on this, to be spent on more worthy projects.

Apparently the Mayor of Galway,Niall O Brolchain,Green Party, has called for the parasite,Cryptosporidium, to feck off out the Galway water supply and not to come back. The parasite has been blamed for an outbreak of reallyannoyings##t (aka Diarrhoea) in the Galway area.The parasite was unavailable for comment.It should also be noted that all tests thus far have failed to detect the presence of the parasite. Perhaps the parasite has heard the Mayor and fecked off. There are 40 known cases of the illness recorded to date, and its felt that other cases are not being reported due to the belief of the suffers that the scuts were as a result of the 16 pints and a kebab the previous night.

Reports are coming in that all major supermarkets in the Galway area have seen a huge rise in sales of toilet paper with Tesco shovelling massive amounts of its "value" bog roll on to its shelves, and displacing other more pleasurable brands. In a statement a Tesco manager said "we at Tesco thrive on shite, and every little helps" he went on to deny claims that the parasite is allegedly on Tesco's payroll.

Apparently the contract cleaners in my local bookies are to be asked to clean the water,their cleaning skill is now a thing of legend, as witnessed by me on Tuesday.

The HSE has issued a warning that all water must be boiled before drinking it, they should have also said the you should allow the water to cool down, as drinking boiling water to quench your thirst would lead to more severe discomfort than a dose of the scuts.There are people out there that would'nt think of this.

So rather than find out how the alleged parasite got into the water supply, and then fix the problem, the Mayor decided to declare a fatwa on the parasite, who up to now is nowhere to be found. Perhaps the Mayor should take a pill to ease his verbal diarrhoea, or is he going to blame this on another parasite, named Nocluewhattosaysoi'lltalkshiteium???????

Well, for as long as I can remember I've been telling people that Cricket is a great game, and for all too long I've recieved the same bulls##t remarks, "I'd rather watch the paint dry on the wall" or "that shite, thats not a game at all".

Well now its my turn.........

I have just witnessed a classic game of Cricket where Ireland and Zimbabwe fought out only the third tied game game in the history of the ICC World Cup. The intensity of the game was relentless, the pride and grit, of the Irish players was superb, memories of Germany 1988 and Italia 1990 flooded my mind. There was at least 1000 passionate Irish supporters in the stands, that sang "The fields of Athenry" and "Ole, Ole, Ole" from the top of their collective lungs. Jamaica provided the backdrop, and the weather to turn the Irish skin pink, but what a game of Cricket.

For the record it finished 221 runs each, Ireland using all 50overs with a superb 115 not out, by JP Bray,the first century of the competition, which was badly needed as we were 63 for 3 after 14 overs. But true to Irish pride we clawed ourselves to 221 for 9.

Zimbabwe, were at all times looking comfortable and I felt that they would win , but they did'nt.

Perhaps the likes of Ryan Turbidy, "who does'nt get it" needs to remove the collective head from the collective ass, and begin to realise that this is a great game. There was a certain level of fielding and gathering of the ball in that game today that would suggest that some of these lads have played the greatest game of all,hurling.

Pakistan on Saturday, I know we are'nt afraid, question is are they???????

My lovely wife sent these to me today, so I'm going to share them.......

• It was mealtime during a flight on a British Airways plane: "Would you like dinner?" the flight attendant asked the man seated in the front row. "What are my choices?" the man asked. "Yes or no," she replied.

Dermot Mannion,chief executive of Aer Lingus has decided to blame the world for the €1.2m reduction in Aer Lingus profits for 2006. Explicitly, he cites higher fuel costs and the terrorism alert in the UK last August, but failed to cite himself and his managements lack of strategic/operational management skills.

So that we can all digest the spin in this announcement lets just bullet point the key figures, to avoid ambiguity,

• Pre-tax profits down from €91.6m to €90.4m
• Total Revenue up by 11% to €1.1billion.
• Total passengers up 7.3% to 8.6million
• Load Factor dropped from 81.4% to 77.6%
• Short Haul passengers up 9% but available seats up by 20.6%
• Long Haul Passengers fell by 4.4%
• On Board Sales and Car hire up 34% to €63.4m
• Fuel cost up by 44.4% or €61.7m
• Staff costs increased by 8% no figure given as what figure is now.
• €16m spend on defending itself from Ryanairs takeover.

Lets have a closer look shall we,

• Pre-tax profits down €1.2m not so bad really
• Total Revenue up €100m or 11% again not so bad, good actually.However no account of how much fuel surcharge is contained in figure.
• Total passengers up about 585,000 again well done
• Load factor down 3.8%, not good given capacity grew in short haul by 20.6% thereby giving the impression that new/existing routes are'nt commercial or the airline is now a bus service and will go without passengers. If capacity is up and passengers are down relatively, this would have to mean that you and me are paying more.It would also suggest that rather than use and exploit the existing routes unprofitable expansion appears to be a chosen strategy. Additionally Long Haul suffered a 4.4% fall and would suggest expansion of this un-commercial/un-profitable piece of the business needs to be called into question.
• On board Sales and car hire up, who gives a shite, this is an airline.
• Fuel costs up 44.4% or €61.7m again how much was recouped via surcharges would be a nice statistic to have.
• Staff costs up 8% to what from what?, given that apparently there is a "operative" busting his/her arse earning €110,000 pa. How will the proposed pay freeze of top management affect this figure in 2007? if at all.
• €16m on defending itself from Ryanair. No, now costs €16m anyway the capitalisation of Aer Lingus increased about 28% or say €300m due to the approach, not a bad return but not a return generated by Mannion et al.

So, its first set of accounts issued to the financial world as a plc, and like its management they are as deep as a puddle. No mention of the massive JetBlue deal, appears the discussions with unions are "positive" despite the union saying that essentially "thats boll#*ks". The Union also went on to say that the credit for these figures were down to the €110,000pa employees, and the flotation was a "disaster", I expect the unions to give back its shareholding any day now.

Success has many facets, in Aer Lingus's case its charging too much, changing fares quietly whilst announcing reduction in fuel surcharges, paying too much to one member of staff, never answering the phone to customers, talking shite, and finally preparing to become another Eircom.

I'm Irish, I'm Irish every single day of the year, and I have been Irish since I was born, I will also continue to be Irish until I'm dead, and even then I will be a dead Irishman.

So, this morning on Ryan Trubidy there was a discussion on the importance of being Irish on St Patricks Day, March 17th, and how we should all be proud of our heritage and our place in history. We should also make an attempt to speak Irish during the 5 day St Patricks Festival, or St Patricks piss up, depending on your point of view.

I am a proud Irishman, I love my country even if there are things in it that really annoy the shite in me about her, for example, poor health service, crap roads,cold/damp/overcrowded classrooms, but I am still proud of my country. I sing my national anthem with pride when I attend football/hurling/rugby matches,or other events that it is sung. I speak to my children on occasion "as gaeilge". So why should I be told that I must show my pride on one day of the year?

We as citizens should show our pride in our country everyday, we have achieved a lot and we have even more to achieve, but to be patronised from those so high is a load of bollocks, dupek in polish.

We are not a nation of leprechauns, swigging whiskey, and running away with the pot of gold, we are a modern European Nation, with all the problems of any other modern nation.

So enjoy St.Patricks Day, put on your shamrock, bring your children to the parade, have a pint of green beer, be proud of our country, but keep it going for the other 364 days.

Tesco are off again to capture more of your money, and they are'nt going to do this by providing fresh produce on their shelves, or employing helpful staff, no they are going to sell you mobile phone minutes along with your bread,milk,credit card,loans,cheap apartments and life assurance. They have just entered into an agreement with O2 to buy minutes on a wholesale basis and sell them onto you while you complete your weekly shop.

I suppose on the plus side this will open more competiton in the telecommunication sector, which hopefully will lead to the lowering of costs to the consumer, but as with all silver linings there needs to be a cloud. By indulging in this new initiative I can't help but think that resources will be diverted from the core business of providing us with food and a clean environment in which to do your weekly shop. I have a feeling that Marks Vanilla Cornet experience will become more frequent in the future.

As I move on through life would'nt it be nice to have the following,

• Supermarkets that sell you good fresh food as a fair price.
• Electricity companies that sell only electricity.
• Gas companies that sell only Gas.
• Airlines that actually fly you some where and treat you with respect.

I know I sound like a "grumpy old man " thats because these companies are over-complicating my life, and its my money that they want, and all I want in return is value and quality.

I wonder if this service will be free from bugs unlike Tescos petrol? I suppose we'll have to wait and see.

I suppose to amend Tesco's catch phrase "Every little piece of shite that we can sell, helps our bottom line, and increases our chances of world domination"

Whilst watching the BBC's 10 o clock news last night, the main national and international news was finished and we were handed over to Belfast for the Local news from Northern Ireland. The news was dominated by the Assembly elections and to be honest I was only half listening, as I was wondering what ntl bill to pay.

The newscaster went on mention that a jury in a case of a man accused of holding up a lingerie shop, at knife point,were sent to a hotel for the night. The defence offered by the man, Robert Boyd, was that he thought he was an elf named "Beho" at the time, and did'nt know what was going on. BBCNI

I said to myself "hello, looks like the QC's are at it again, as they were in Micheal Stones performance art defence that was entered when he stormed Stormont in November 06. Sadly no, this appears to be a defence entered by Boyd himself.

This got me thinking, defence's in legal cases appear to be becoming more lavish and silly, so to that end here are a few that you might use, or, rent out to your QC or SC depending on jurisdiction.

• "I only drank the 15 pints, 10 vodka's and redbull, and 5 double whiskey chasers, to see if indeed it impaired my driving. This was a social experiment, Justice"
• "When I bought the gun, it came without any instructions, it was only when I shot the shopkeeper during the robbery that I realised that these things are dangerous. This is a classic example of shoddy customer service, Justice"
• "I entered the field in order to relieve myself, whilst in the field a sheep appeared out of the dark, and kept backing into me. I in no way encouraged the sheep to do this, Justice"
• "But sure, I was out of my head during the riot, I can't remember throwing the petrol bomb at the police. I was under duress, Justice"

Feel free to add more...................

Well despite being taken over by UPC for a figure in excess of €250 million, Ntl is still issuing shite. As most of you know we blogged these moron's in November and December of 2006 when I along with thousand others were unable to get to a customer service agent on the telephone.

Now one would expect that when a company has new owners, the new owners would cut out the shite,and the management that allowed for this shite to be issued in the first place, but to no avail, the shite is part of the culture.

I received a letter from Ntl telling me "While carrying out an audit on your( I felt very important) account it has come to our attention that you have not received a bill since November 2006", but I did receive shite service. To cut to the chase, they explained to me that they would issue me with a catch up bill in the near future, fine I said I'm not paying it anyway,as I spent €58 on mobile calls and being left on hold for hours on end, and I have sent them a bill, so send away I mused.

Last Friday March 2nd recieved a bill dated the 21st Feb for all the bits and pieces and this came to €132.08, and this would be taken from my bank on the 7th of March, Today I received another bill,dated 28th of Feb, for €147.34 for the same period and this will be taken from my bank on the 14th of March. Now I d'ont care as I cancelled my direct debit anyway and will pay at the end on the month for what I received. The next question is what bill do I pay?. I think about that in bed tonight.

I wonder what would happen if I had'nt cancelled my direct debit? there is a good chance that the two amounts would have left my bank account, actually I'm almost certain that this would have happened. So as I suggested in Dec 06 cancel your direct debits, by the sounds of it, it will be sometime in 2008 before these feckin eejits work whats going on, and more to the point if they cancel everyone they'll have no customers.

Additionally I read in the weekends papers that they are entering the telecom fixed landline market, as if we d'ont already have a shite service provider in the shape of Eircom, no ntl are going to compete on the level of total shite they can heap on customers and then bill them twice. As a contingency you will issued with one carton of messaging pigeons, so that they can physically shite on you as well. The technology that will employed will be sent to your house and will have two plastic cups with a lenght of string to connect them, all for €9.99 per month. The delux option will contain gloves to keep your hands warm, for a mere 15.99 per month.

So have a ntl (nothing to lose) moment and send these fools a message.

I have just completed my 5km morning walk. On returning to the Car Park I noticed an foreign registered car a few places up from where I had parked my car.As I had just completed something healthy I decided to have a cigerette just in case I had prolonged my life expectancy.

When I was sitting there listening to "Deacon Blue" comtemplating the issues of the day, I noticed the woman in the car was attempting to change a toddlers nappy on the back seat. As a parent I along with my wife have completed this task on numerous occasions, and I can sympathise with anyone who has to do it.

After a few minutes the task was completed to the roars of the child, who was by now contesting the fact that it had to be out back into its car seat, the woman simply threw the nappy on the ground. I called to her "you are not going to leave that there, are you?, to which she replied "f&*k off and mind your own business".

I was outraged and walked up to where the nappy was and picked it up and put into the bin that was 10 yards away with the two looking at me. I just d'ont get this what gives people the right to think that they can simply throw their litter, or in this case a substantial load, anywhere?. Respect for anything is gone, this place has a view of Galway Bay, with Blackhead in Co.Clare providing the backdrop, and yet people feel compelled to soil it with their actions. For feck sake put it the bin and a have a little respect for yourself and others.

Now for a piece of advice, if you are the proud father of a little girl,as I am, when she says that she need's to "go pee pee" while you are driving on a long journey for feck sake ensure that there are'nt any hidden nettles in the spot you allow her to go, it makes for a very upsetting remainder of the journey. The thing to watch out for from a boys perspective is the electric fence hidden by the hedgerow, thats a personal one from about 25years ago.

And finally if you have a boy of any age and they keep missing the bowl put a wine cork in the loo, they'll spend hours aiming at it and trying to sink it. This applies to any age and any state of sobriety.

For many years now I have been a fan of the Dragons Den. Some of the people who appear are simply weird, un-investable and simply stupid, but they all have one thing in common, they believe in their business/concept and they have the balls to stand up in front of some the best business people in the UK.For me that takes guts,and when someone shows guts they deserve respect and fair-handiness, even if,when I see them and think that they need mental help if they think the business is viable.

I have noticed in this series the rude manner in which Peter Jones  is conducting himself. He has become crass,ignorant, and has begun to engage in some of the tell-tale bully boy tactics that many of us have witnessed either in our own professional lives or what we witnessed in the Big Brother House in January.

In one particular episode a man was pitching a product that was'nt the best, he made the mistake of sticking the "A Frame lock" on a weak mock up door. Peter Jones decide to smash the door with his hand, like a schoolboy bully breaking a toy that another child had just because it was different. It did'nt occur to Jones that this was a mock up and perhaps the chap did'nt have the money to buy a real door and transport it to the Dragons Den on the tube.

In last weeks episode a very articulate lady had a product that had potential, Jones asked her the following question,

Jones "What are going to do with this £50,000"

Lady "I would spend £15,000 on stock and the rest of the money would be used for marketing and other business costs.

Jones "So you expect me to give you £15,000 to buy stock, what will have to sell once this stock is gone?"

This question threw the lady and she became very uneasy and lost her way.And indeed lost any hope of securing an investment.

If Jones was a business man with awareness he should have understood that the £15,000 would have generated sales and this money would have being used to buy more stock. She was'nt giving the product away, but no he decided to drive her into the ground and make her feel small and meek, a perfect investor? I d'ont think so.

Additionally he has also turned on his fellow Dragons, he told Richard Farleigh that he took more equity than he should have from a 21yr old, eventhough he did'nt think the product was worth investing in,and declared himself out. Duncan Bannatyne got a snide remark for pointing out a flaw in Jones financial awareness,and assessment capabilities, which Bannatyne laughed inwardly whilst sporting a trademark smile. Peter is beginning to look like a man that needs a massive amount of Preparation H just to make him sit comfortably.

I thought that Ruth Badger was a rude business guru it looks like Peter Jones is following in her footsteps. I can see the two of them together at a football match on a Saturday shouting like two yobs, before back to Ruths place for a few bottles of wine.

Peter please remove the rudeness, there are enough feckin eejits in the world already.