I have now being back at work, outside the home for 6 months, please no clapping, I know I am no longer a burden on society, I had forgotten all the bulls##t terms an phrases that people use in the everyday conversations with collegues. Some of these are really annoying and more to the point meaningless.

Couple this with dealing with some employment agencies and my blood begins to boil, so much so that I have listed below answers that although could be true you will never hear as an answer at interviews........

1. Q If there were 2 things that you would change about yourself right now what would they be............  Answer, Socks & Jocks
2. Q How do you propose to manage your work life balance?,............ Answer I was'nt intending on doing very much at work.
3. Q What will you bring to the "sand box" when its ready for testing?......... Answer "Bucket and spade"..

They are as good an answer as some bulls##t makey uppey answer that was gleaned from some Covey management book.

Another thing can someone please explain what the feck "going foward" means, as I have rarely seen any organisation looking backward's. Why oh why do intelligent people insist on talking such shite?

All we need to do really is speak in a proper language, and listen to the answer we recieve, and stop speaking in code

Watching a bit of telly last night and advert came on for 3 Mobiles Internet product, when I was watching it I noticed that the creative wizards made a decision for the Mobile Device that you connect to your PC would look like the human sperm making its way to fertilise an egg.

Originally nothing bothered me but then I began thinking about people that I have met in my life who for one reason or another have and are still finding it difficult to conceive, and all the tests that many of them went through , and all the mental torment that is associated with being put through these tests. I said to myself that this is insensitive and began to picture in my minds eye a couple experiencing these difficulties watching this and wondered how this made them feel.

Advertising and Marketing is designed to sell product and I accept that concept, as very few businesses survive without Sales, however wouldnt it be nice to consider the sensitivities of people before profit.

Maybe I am over-reacting but I know people that have suffered and its not a very pleasant experience for all involved.

The headline says it all "iGeeks" await €1400 iPhone launch" well there you have it, Steve Jobs was in London yesterday to launch and announce the coming of the new iPhone which will be available from November 9 2007, mark your diary.

 I suppose that there will be many that will be looking forward to the launch and more luck to you, but heres the beauty of this product, it will not be able to operate on 3G in Europe, that right it will not be 3G compatible, the so called "donkeys bollock's" of phone,music, and internet technology will operate at the same speed of dial up internet connection, brilliant, I suppose that when you buy the phone you'll be handed a 10 mile telephone cable which you will use to "Dial -up", but at least you'll be connected, albeit physically.

 Whilst the world has moved on in technological term's Apple still makes shite products but use's marketing ploys to tempt you into the Den that is non-compatibility, isolation and uselessness, but whipping £899 (€1400 approx) out of your pocket, remember "I'm PC, I'm Mac" well there you go, additionally it also be said that the same phone that does'nt work on 3G is available in the US for $399 and $599 in Japan but this price is under review, why, because the Japanese are'nt stupid.

 I suppose the next announcement from Jobs will be that Web 2.0 is overrated and the feck'in thing will be Web 1.0 compatible, or if that fails they will buy Digitals Vax.VMs system from a down and out on the street and get the Marketing Department working on it.

Christ as a child I used to get two tin can's put a hole in each, connect with string, and talk to my fellow soldiers during "our war", now Apple has "sexed" it up, to the Patent Lawyers seems to be the only option.

 Feck I'm annoyed by this Sh##t.