Mark - fed by Really Annoying Shit

Keeping on the road to recovery

28 Mar 2010 15:24:26 GMT

Gordon Brown, as part of his pre-election campaigning, announced yesterday his top three priorities for the country were "keeping on the road to recovery, keeping on the road to recovery and keeping on the road to recovery". "Bugger", he adds quietly to Alastair Darling, " which f'ing way is it?".

Link to image:

</a>

Airborne CCTV Cameras

28 Mar 2010 14:03:05 GMT

In a web exclusive, a local Government official has revealed a new tool in their armoury of powers to help them crack down on the UK tax payer. The airborne CCTV device, conceived by Gordon Brown while still Chancellor, is currently being trialled by a number of London Boroughs to verify council tax bandings, to check up on recycling "errors" and to observe spending behaviours. Shareholders take note, the camera, which will be able to record your home through your windows, may spark an increase in the sale of net curtains. The official commented "if you have nothing to hide then you have nothing to fear".

Link to image:

</a>

Virgin Superfast Broadband

06 Mar 2010 12:47:16 GMT

So much for Virgin superfast broadband! I've clocked mine at 192Kb. Superfast my arse!

Come on Gordon

06 Mar 2010 12:30:47 GMT

Gordon Brown tries out a new technique....

Link to image:

</a>

People you may know on Linkedin

06 Mar 2010 12:22:28 GMT

I use Linkedin, but I must say I find the "People you may know" section quite ridiculous. When I log in it seems to assume I am likely to know other people only on the basis we have the same name.

Boom-da-ya to the Noughties

01 Jan 2010 20:31:30 GMT

The noughties is almost synonymous with an age of evil. We had 9/11, the invasion of Iraq, Enron, Robbie Williams, the credit crunch, the expenses scandal, the terrorist attack in Mumbai, the Asian tsunami, Gordon Brown, 7/7, the banking crisis, Big Brother, superbugs, Swine Flu, shooting rampages at Virgina Tech, Land Rovers ..... the world is quite different, and I am not sure where I would start with my list of all the really annoying shit of the decade, but a new one begins, and (tongue in cheek) we're still making great television. Have a Happy new year, and love the world.

Blair loses out to Herman von Rompuy

21 Nov 2009 16:02:26 GMT

"Precious, precious, precious!" Blair cried. "My Precious! O my Precious!" And with that, even as his eyes were lifted up to gloat on his prize, he stepped too far, toppled, wavered for a moment on the brink, and then with a shriek he fell. Out of the depths came his last wail Precious, and he was gone.

Link to image:

</a>

Gordon Brown reaches out to the taxpayer

18 Oct 2009 23:23:14 GMT

Gordon Brown receives his greeting card proofs back from the publisher

Link to image:

</a>

Leona punched by X Factor Loser

18 Oct 2009 23:13:39 GMT

Leona Lewis is punched in the head by a fellow contestant from the 2008 X Factor auditions.

Link to image:

</a>

Obama wins the Nobel Prize

10 Oct 2009 23:25:07 GMT

The [Nobel] prize was invented by the Swedish industrialist and inventor of dynamite Alfred Nobel, and was first awarded in 1901. There were a record 205 nominations for this year's peace prize. Zimbabwean Prime Minister Morgan Tsvangirai and Chinese dissident Hu Jia had been among the favourites.

Instead the committee chose Mr Obama, who was inaugurated less than two weeks before the 1 February nomination deadline.

Link to image:

</a>

Cameron faces a naked challenge

10 Oct 2009 21:54:51 GMT

David Cameron faces a naked heckler at the Conservative party conference in Manchester during the week.

Link to image:

</a>

The Vikings Ransack the City

10 Oct 2009 20:04:19 GMT

"Mighty warriors with mighty swords, shiny helmets and shield bosses
We sail over the crimosn sea seeking plunder in Angle land.."

Link to image:

</a>

Pensioner arrested in morning swoop

04 Oct 2009 21:23:43 GMT

In a morning swoop by armed response officers a pensioner has been taken into custondy after putting her wheelie bin out on the wrong day. The offence normally carries a fixed penalty fine, however, a spokesperson for the local council was quoted to say "We have a zero tolerance policy. We will continue to be tough on crime."

Link to image:

</a>

Harmon finds a new way to travel

04 Oct 2009 17:39:44 GMT

The Deputy Leader finds a new way to travel following allegations she failed to stop at the scene of a traffic accident. Witnesses allege she lowered her window, shouting "I'm Harriet Harman" as she fled the scene.

Link to image:

</a>

Miliband strips off on Brighton Beach

04 Oct 2009 17:28:22 GMT

David Miliband, the Foreign Secretary, takes a cheeky dip in the sea at Brighton beach following the end of the party conference on Friday.

Link to image:

</a>