Mark - fed by Really Annoying Shit

Just who are you overtaking?

28 Sep 2008 15:00:33 GMT

Today I had the joy of having to sit behind an eejit in a Volvo S40 on the A3 who continued driving in the fast lane even though there were no other cars to overtake. There were distances of up to half a mile between cars in the middle lane, ample room to pull in, but he didn't. He was obviously one of the soft heads who thinks his rightful position is in the fast lane, at the top of the Q.

I had a few options

undertake
flash headlights
begin tailgating

I am not a fan of either of these options, and was stupid enough to think common sense might prevail. The bonehead would look in his rear view mirror and make way. But being bereft of common sense he didn't do that and I should have undertaken him.

This is the same type of eejit that comes off a slip road and makes an immediate beeline for the fast lane even though their acceleration is never going to match the speed of existing traffic. And the type of eejit who waits until the very last moment to try and cut across lanes to make it to the exit, applying their brakes suddenly, usually in both fast and middle lanes in their hurry to get off in time.

The Downing Street sea-change

12 Sep 2008 10:10:16 GMT

This shit will represent nothing less than a sea-change

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Labours new strategy to tackle social mobility

10 Sep 2008 09:41:53 GMT

Erm, Gordon, are you sure you understand the concept of "social mobility"?

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Non Iron Shrits and the Blog Awards

10 Sep 2008 09:22:50 GMT

I thought this might be the smallest blog post in the world but I remembered Blacksheep already won the blog awards in that category for his blog which contained no content at all. That untitled blog, which his harshest critics lambasted as being an error, also, controversially, won best punctuation and spelling for a blog.

And, as if that wasn't enough hardware for the night, his blog also won first place for best regional submission from an area around Maynooth. Fans admire the blog post for its nihilistic candour and have even drawn parallels to the ground breaking conceptual artist, Marcel Duchamp.

For me, I think he made an error, was too eager with the return key. I can't even link direct to the blank post as the lack of title means it can't be indexed, but enough about the blog awards, I want to talk about shirts.

Why is it when you buy a non iron shirt the first thing you have to do is iron it to take the creases out?

Refrigerate Fire, says Brown

09 Sep 2008 09:59:00 GMT

Gordon's economic relaunch suffers another setback as his solution to the energy crisis receives a less than enthusiastic response during consumer trials in Hackney. The Prime Minister, determined to do the right thing, delivered fire to local households faced with fuel poverty, advising them to refrigerate, to make the fire last longer.

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No short-term gimmicks, says Brown

05 Sep 2008 23:11:23 GMT

Undaunted by losing the battle with the energy companies to fund a cash rebate to the needy, Gordon Brown demonstrates a new plan to help pensioners stay warm this winter in the face of huge increases in energy bills.

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David Blunkett returns the dead to work

05 Sep 2008 12:45:06 GMT

Ex-minister David Blunkett is pictured below trying to raise the dead and return them to work to pay for his ministerial pension and the largesse of final salary public sector pensions.

While the retired civil servants will be happy playing garden bowls, the rest of us mugs will have to spend our childrens inheritance trying to stay warm and keep up with inflation and, the best part, continue working until we collapse. Read the BBC News story.

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What goes on inside No. 11?

04 Sep 2008 11:54:37 GMT

No sure, but here's Alistair Darling as he pauses from his busy schedule for a bite of lunch, traditional fish and chips by the looks of it.

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Alistair Darling remembers his head

03 Sep 2008 09:01:40 GMT

Phew, a sigh of relief at Number 10 as Alistair Darling remembers to turn up for work with his head.

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Gordons strategy to relaunch

02 Sep 2008 12:43:50 GMT

Tuesday: Having had his relaunch sunk by Alistair Darling, Gordon Brown comes up with another clever strategy.

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Downing Street Productions

01 Sep 2008 19:44:21 GMT

Speaking to the BBC yesterday, Jack Straw, likened the current economic climate to an airplane passing through tubulence. Mr Straw, in an effort to limit the damage caused by Alistair Darlings irresponsible interview with the Guardian, continued with his aviation anology, to ask "The question for the country is who is better to take us through this turbulent period? Is it an experienced pilot and co-pilot in Gordon Brown and Alistair Darling.. or is it David Cameron and George Osborne?"

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Alistair Darling gives up on economy

30 Aug 2008 13:33:11 GMT

Rather than demonstrating any sense of grit or financial leadership, Alistair Darling, in his exclusive interview with the Guardian, basically tells us we're screwed. Is there any optimism in his outlook? No, in fact, he suggests the economic downturn is "going to be more profound and long-lasting than people thought", and assesses that the economy is "arguably the worst [its] been in 60 years".

These disclosures won't do anything but further decrease consumer confidence and contribute to a continuing economic decline, in the same way his chance remarks about temporarily suspending stamp duty stopped the housing market dead.

Way to go Alistair!

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Pay and Display at Butser Hill

29 Aug 2008 12:52:43 GMT

I find it quite ridiculous that I can visit a National Nature Reserve and not be able to stay there to enjoy it because I don't have £1 in coins to pay the parking charge. I had 60p which I fed in to the parking meter only to be prompted with a digital message asking me to "Pay More".

With £100 in notes, a debit card and a mobile phone I gladly would have - if there was the facility to do so. But there isn't, so the choice is to either turn around and go home or face the prospect of being fined and clamped, no doubt, by a contracted out cowboy service.

At first I thought Butser Hill in the South Downs was owned by the National Trust, but they promptly emailed back to say it was Natural England. I contacted them, both to vent my annoyance and to ask had they any plans to update their parking system.

A spokesperson from NE responded:

"Most NNrs are managed by Natural England but some are managed by other approved bodies. Butser Hill is one of these and part of the site is within the Queen Elizabeth Park, run by Hampshire Country Council."

The email included contact details to address my enquiry to, which I did. A respondent from the Council later answered:

"Hi, thanks for the e-mail. I had already seen a copy passed on by a colleague in Natural England.

Firstly, I am sorry that your visit was not an enjoyable one.

With regard to the parking at Queen Elizabeth Country Park, the whole area is covered by an Off-Street Parking Order and as such our visitors are required to pay a nominal amount for their parking... The O/SPO has to be enforced as per any similar scheme and Park staff will issue excess charge tickets where necessary. "

The email continued suggesting "If on your next visit you are in need of change for the pay and display machines then please do come to the Park Centre, open 7 days per week, and we will happily provide it."

There is no Park Centre at Butser Hill, nor is there any notice in the car park pointing the way to the Park Centre located in the Queen Elizabeth Country Park, a couple of miles away. And I still didn't really have my question answered so I asked again. This time a better response from Hampshire Council:

"The Forestry Commission is currently testing a cash less credit card based system at Alice Holt which we will be watching with interest. We are also soon to errect a new set of large fingerposts based up at the kiosk [at Butser Hill]. This will help with orientation about the Country Park, both to the east and west of the A3."

Boris Johnson shaves head for 2012 Funds

28 Aug 2008 13:09:51 GMT

Boris Johnson, London Mayor, has had his head shaved today to help raise additional funding for the 2012 Olympics. Unexpectedly, under his trademark blonde bouffant was revealed an astonishing birthmark, similar to the warnings found on supermarket grocery packaging.

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Robbin Hood, Prince of Thieves

27 Aug 2008 21:12:35 GMT

Gordon Brown, pictured on his way to a fancy dress party at the weekend, is more "Robbin' Hood" than "Robin Hood". He is the Prince of thieves, just look at the headlines -

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