You have one of those days. It's the middle of the week. You're late leaving the office. You're not in a good mood.You've already decided you just have to stop and get a bottle of wine. As you know there's nothing in the fridge, you bundle everything into one stop. Your shopping basket fills with one bottle of Anubis, a 3 pack of Magnums, 2 pain aux raisons, and for dinner?

There you are in the ready made meal aisle. A picture catches your eye: mmmmmm...... Finest Chilli Beef Noodles. The short, mouth watering trip from Tesco's to home is spent thinking about the chilli beef, mmmmmmm, pouring a glass of wine with "beaded bubbles winking at the brim" like they do in "Ode to a Nightingale".

You're there. You switch the oven on, gas mark 5 you presume ....mmmmmmmmmm. You look at the packaging. You look again. You turn the box of Chilli Noodles around, and over again, not believing the innocuous, camouflaged symbol in the bottom left hand corner which says "microwave only". You don't have one. Having grown up in Ireland in the 70's and 80's you've always retained your suspicion of the microwave, and you've just paid £3.69 to be snatched, unceremoniously, from the jaws of your midweek, having a very bad day, escape.