Tony Blair opens his shirt outside 10 Downing Street to pose for a glamour shot, unexpectedly revealing the  Kuato like creature he shares his body with.

Play once and it becomes an effort to stop. No fancy Xbox needed, no shoot em up gore...

"What a piece of work is man! How noble in reason! how infinite in faculties! in form and moving, how express and admirable! in action how like an angel!"

Some chancer even dumped his pizza express box and other rubbish even though the recycle point is just for bottles and cans.

I had a look on that internet thing everyone seems to be talking about, for a cheap flight from Cork to London. Amazingly, I was quoted £1,361.64 for the return flight, and instead of taking an hour as it should, the flight is scheduled to last over six hours on the return, and almost five hours outbound. Book cheap flights with Opodo my arse!

What brainbox decided to locate the internet area right beside the smoking area in the North Terminal of Gatwick Airport?

I'm sitting here right now enveloped in a cloud of stinking cigarette smoke. I would vent my spleen a lot more except I am overcome by the stink and my eyes are begining to water.....

Has the word planning become obsolete?

This is not a normal day, said Tony Blair, prior to his public announcement about stepping down as Prime Minister. Within moments, both he and his lovely wife Cherie, were transformed into the great Spider King and Queen, and proceeded to run amok around parliament. A media blackout has been ordered and a state of emergency is to ensue before the feeding frenzy of their victims, frozen in finely spun gossamer webs, begins.

Tony Blair is expected to make a public statement today at 12:00 to confirm he is to stand down as labour leader. The announcement is set to spark a leadership contest.

Tony Blair ordered the Lord Chancellor Gordon Brown to work in his underpants following revelations that his tax credit system has made £6billion in overpayments and is set to write off close to £2billion of tax payers money as unrecoverable. Gordon was seen emerging from Downing Street in his pants, a little hunched over, but obviously seeing the amusing side of his predicament. A brief case covered his modesty.

Conveniently, John Reid, is set to resign as Home Secretary in June, when Tony Blair goes. Would it not have been better to put his differences with Gordon Brown aside, and finish with the rubble of the Home Office?

This morning I received a bill for £743.67 from British Gas Business advising me the account is to be passed to a Debt Collection Agency if I don't pay.

Customer Services, when I ring them, inform me the billing period is from November 2004 to October 2006 at an address in Cambridge. When I say I only registered the company in July 2006 and it is a non trading entity I am met by silence, and then "but we have your address".

Of course you do, you just got it from Companies House, but the debt is for a different company. Can you tell me the company number of the company who opened the account with you in 2004?

It seems to be not possible. Customer Services have to regroup and pass it to another department.

To be continued....