Gordon Brown receives his greeting card proofs back from the publisher

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Leona Lewis is punched in the head by a fellow contestant from the 2008 X Factor auditions.

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The [Nobel] prize was invented by the Swedish industrialist and inventor of dynamite Alfred Nobel, and was first awarded in 1901. There were a record 205 nominations for this year's peace prize. Zimbabwean Prime Minister Morgan Tsvangirai and Chinese dissident Hu Jia had been among the favourites.

Instead the committee chose Mr Obama, who was inaugurated less than two weeks before the 1 February nomination deadline.

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David Cameron faces a naked heckler at the Conservative party conference in Manchester during the week.

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"Mighty warriors with mighty swords, shiny helmets and shield bosses
We sail over the crimosn sea seeking plunder in Angle land.."

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In a morning swoop by armed response officers a pensioner has been taken into custondy after putting her wheelie bin out on the wrong day. The offence normally carries a fixed penalty fine, however, a spokesperson for the local council was quoted to say "We have a zero tolerance policy. We will continue to be tough on crime."

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The Deputy Leader finds a new way to travel following allegations she failed to stop at the scene of a traffic accident. Witnesses allege she lowered her window, shouting "I'm Harriet Harman" as she fled the scene.

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David Miliband, the Foreign Secretary, takes a cheeky dip in the sea at Brighton beach following the end of the party conference on Friday.

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Amid growing speculation of his using prescription drugs, Gordon Brown instead reveals his new eye patch.

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A next generation speed camera is being trialled in Wiltshire. The model retains its trademark shape and coloring but is fitted with an intelligent computer chip and is part of a single robotic unit. The computer learns from statistical data and will move locations until revenue from fines hits or exceeds government targets.

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More prototype Surveillance Droids are spotted in Central London following Gordon Brown's announcement in Brighton last week.

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Yvette Cooper, Secretary of State for Work and Pensions, pictured enjoying a tipple as she celebrates payment of her latest expense claim.

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As the votes are counted in Ireland, Tony Blair is fitted for his new office of EU President.

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Ermm, Gordon, I think this might be too close to the bone.

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Gordon Brown unveils the TAX-U-01 surveillance droid at the annual Labour Party conference in Brighton. This new mobile unit is already in production in Yunnan Province, China. It is to be deployed before the end of the year to trial in Guildford, Surrey. The Star Wars like device is preprogrammed with profiling software to select and follow you, automatically relaying data back to a centralised computer where fines can be issued. It is anticipated the droid will also be used by local councils to confirm property tax bandings and to monitor household recycling.

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An ancient human-like creature that may be a direct ancestor to our species has been described by researchers.

The assessment of the 4.4-million-year-old animal called Gordon Ardipithecus Ramidus Brown is reported in the journal Science.

Even if it is not on the direct line to us, it offers new insights into how we evolved from the common ancestor we share with chimps, the team says.

Fossils of G. Ramidus Brown were first found in Parliament in 1983, but it has taken 26 years to assess their significance.

One of the lead scientists on the project, Professor Tim White from the University of California, Berkeley, said the investigation had been painstaking.

"It took us many, many years to clean the bones in Westminister and then set about to restore this skeleton to its original dimensions and form; and then study it and compare it with all the other fossils that are known from Government and elsewhere, as well as with the modern age," he told the journal.

"This is not an ordinary fossil. It's not a chimp. It's not a human. It shows us what we used to be."

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