The "caveboy" can now return home with a little box from H.Samuel, the Jewellers, under the illusion it will help him speak like a Prince. This seasons H.Samuel TV advert depicts a succession of  boys, to stereotype, unable to express how they feel. The solution is simple. Go down to your local H.Samuel, buy some hardware ("jewellery" in other words), bring it back to the cave and plonk it on to the table.

The strap line is very much in the same mood as "say it with flowers" so don't be at all surprised if it doesn't actually "help you say it better this Christmas".  You know, its just designed to sell jewellery, it doesn't have magical powers......

U2's "The Edge" has now been wearing a woollen bobble hat for about twenty years.

This isn't a good look. All I think when I see him is how greasy and sweaty and uncomfortable it must be under there.

I heard it was the bands PR company or similar who came up with this look. But did they actually mean for it to be permanent?

I mean, their music has sort of changed over time, but the wardrobe, with the Edges woollen hat, and Bono's even more annoying fly glasses, hasn't changed at all. Can't someone please shout "wardrobe" before they appear again or organise Trinny and Susannah to have them stripped, washed and both given makeovers.

It was a marketing company, I presume, who came up with the clever strap line "Say it with Flowers" in order to sell more "flowers.  This must be one of the most successful strap lines ever because it seems every boy, particularly if they're in the doghouse, would rather send flowers than talk. Don't get me wrong, it's great to receive them, only not as a substitute for spoken, genuine words.

You know what, flowers aren't able to talk or translate your thoughts into speech or say sorry. This isn't the eighteenth century where on sight of flowers us gurls dissolve in perfume, melt, and forgive everything,  "holding the sender in the highest regard".

Boys, this is the secret: you can't really say it with flowers. Start talking.

So I broke up with a guy a few months ago. No big deal. I had only been seeing him for a few weeks, and I did the dumping. Why on earth then do I still get text messages from him saying "Just let me know you're ok?".

Why wouldn't I be? I'm not the one with the needy personality! So now I just ignore the texts but still I get this "beep beep beep" in the middle of the night with the inevitable text "just let me know you're ok".

At first I thought he was a nice guy...

Must I now change my mobile phone number?