Well here we all are, week 3 into the big freeze. Here in Ireland it would be unusual for this level of winter weather firstly to occur, and then to remain for as long as it is.

One consequence of the weather is the amount of people in A&E departments with broken wrists, legs, hips etc, indeed my own mother-in-law (80) broke her wrist, we attended outpatients and I asked if there was much point in keeping her alive,and would it not be more humane to "put her down" but lamently they said NO.

More seriously I had to travel to Galway last Monday, and since I'm not allowed to drive, I had to take the bus. Whilst waiting for the bus at 8.30am in -6C the train service to Dublin stopped leaving 200 people without transport to Dublin, I couldn't believe the number of ladies still in high heels, the pavements are pure ice, and some of these people insist on waddling around in 2 to 4 inch high heels and then when they slip and fall, there are like baby Giraffes trying to find their feet just after being born. Wouldn't it be sensible to wear appropriate footwear and carry the shoes in back-pack? or am I underestimating the importance of high heels.

Then of course frozen pipes, the house we have in Galway sprung a leak, and I along with a friend of mine need to go there this evening and clear it out really annoying shit. €240 for a skip, €80 for a hotel all because of this feckin freezing weather.

Who said snow and ice is fun....

Anyway, take care, and stay warm

CYCLISTS SHOULD NOT BE CYCLING IN THIS WEATHER. YE ARE ALL SILLY SODS.

Leona Lewis is punched in the head by a fellow contestant from the 2008 X Factor auditions.

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TV labrador Ben Fogle is back on the box this week while he continues to film his new show "extreme sex", to be aired later in the year. Ben, a word to the wise, try to bring some tissues. This show looks as if it has no chance of getting on before nine.

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"The farmer took a liking to the cow", the tractor driver explained, "and put the cow to calf". "What!" I thought, as I sat in the trailer during the tour around Northney Farm, "What a filthy beast!". I suppose the next thing I hear will be the attack on David Blunkett by a cow was over a long standing paternity dispute.

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Feck,

I'm reallyannoyed with myself for not posting anything since 8th Dec 2008.

Need to fix that, I'll make up for lost time, for some reason why can I picture alot of heads in hands saying no....... please no.

I'll be back

Here we are in the middle of a Global Financial Crisis, comparisons to previous decades abound, we can't even have a rasher sandwich, and The Shadows are reforming with Cliff Richard to play "stadium concerts" in 2009.

I knew that this recession was different but why The Shadows , for feck sake,we're depressed enough.

Apparently this will be the last opportunity to see them all together on stage.

2009 and The Shadows are still "gigging" oh Christ we're going backwards.

Hey there,

Being reading this site for a while now am missing The Markster and his pictures. Whats with the disappearing trick ? have you like just gone away.

And as for Blacksheep, you are the man with these highbrow blogs, just a pity that you cant get the hyphens in the right place in words like weren't. !!!

Thats my moan for now, disappearing Marksters and bad bad English

B

Today I had the joy of having to sit behind an eejit in a Volvo S40 on the A3 who continued driving in the fast lane even though there were no other cars to overtake. There were distances of up to half a mile between cars in the middle lane, ample room to pull in, but he didn't. He was obviously one of the soft heads who thinks his rightful position is in the fast lane, at the top of the Q.

I had a few options

1. undertake
2. flash headlights
3. begin tailgating

I am not a fan of either of these options, and was stupid enough to think common sense might prevail. The bonehead would look in his rear view mirror and make way. But being bereft of common sense he didn't do that and I should have undertaken him.

This is the same type of eejit that comes off a slip road and makes an immediate beeline for the fast lane even though their acceleration is never going to match the speed of existing traffic. And the type of eejit who waits until the very last moment to try and cut across lanes to make it to the exit, applying their brakes suddenly, usually in both fast and middle lanes in their hurry to get off in time.

Great Britian had a very good olympics in China, and more luck to them. But as usual the british media,especially Sky News just keep harping on on how successful Team GB, giving us minute detail.

In reality Britian fininshed 4th in the medal table which under olympic rules does'nt warrant a medal. Additionally most of the medals were won in non conventional sports like BMX Riding, and just because London is Hosting the Olympics in 2012 does'nt mean that they'll be the best ever, They w'ont............. despite the Borrs Boffoon stating that we did this before, yes Boris in 1908, Christ would someone explain to Boris we have moved on

I'm so feckin annoyed now I have to get this off my chest before I poke someone with a pointy stick.

Why do we insist on giving cancer names that makes it sound invinsible?. Don't get me wrong, cancer is a horrible,horrible insidious disease, that unfortunately kills 11000 people in Ireland every year. But for some reason we Irish have a habit of giving it names such as the "Big C" making it almost mythical and invinsible.

When I was diagnosed with my cancer in Dec 07, I saw at first hand the the effect it had on my family and friends, some were shattered and wept openly other's just kept going. This is as I said a horrible disease, but its not invinsible.

During my journey( and I'm not finished) seeking a cure for this feckin disease, I have had the endure a lot of hospitalisation,injections,blood tests, surgery, radiotherapy on my brain, and gallons of chemotherapy, all willingly, because I want to spend the rest of my life wife my wife and children. It really annoys me when I hear people refer to this disease as invinsible,IT IS'NT.

Cancer is defeatable,numerous people defeat this disease everyday, and they are from all ages and backrounds. They are the brave ones, they are they the one's that decided that this disease was'nt invinsible and that any suffering was worth it, a price that had to be paid.

All of us wish we did'nt have this feckin disease, I wish I was at home now with my wife and children rather than sitting in isolation in a Dublin Hospital but I have chosen to live, and for me to achieve this goal I need to go through this treatment.

I'm no Nuala O Faolain, I d'ont regard any time that chemotherapy gives me as being dirty in anyway, and I'm certainly not weak for deciding to live. I will visit all those places that I want to when I'm better ,not before hand.

Bravery has many facets but I can honestly say that the pure unbridled bravey is all around us when it comes to fighting this disease, patients,nurses,doctors its not a bed of roses but we all "suck up and plough on" together.

Another thing, why do people automatically say " I'm so sorry" when you tell them that you have cancer, I was playing golf two weeks ago and one of the lads I was playing said that. I suppose its difficult for people to know what to say, and I respect that, but there must be a better way.

Perhaps asking them what type of cancer it is, or what kind of treatment are they going through or will be going through, be positive they will appreciate it, I know I do. Christ knows there are enough negatives associated with having this disease, we need as many postives as possible.

Every morning I say the following two things to myself

"Today I need to ensure that positives outweigh the negatives, at least that way I know I'm winning" and

"Success is my only motherfucking option " (Eminem)

So please stop making cancer bigger than it actually is, remember 1 in 3 of us will get this disease at sometime in our lives so we better get used to giving it a funt up the hole.

As I said its curable

As a proud Cork man living in exile I beginning to find the reporting of the news in Ireland is lacking passion (gra), and frankly its beginning to annoy me so I have decided to take a story from RTE's Website and translate it into "Cork". Click on the RTE read the original post.

Knackers at it all Day in Mullingar

by Blacksheep

8 shams have been hauled up in front of court with something to do with a large scatter in Mullingar Co. Westmeath today,it happened after dinner. Initial reports indicate knackers are involved

6 knackers ,that were actually in court, fair dues to them, were charged with "acting the langer" with 2 others were charged with "acting the complete langer and flahing the situation all altogether".

All 8 were kept in so that they would reappear in Tullamore,s District court on Monday, with the help of god.

The wig Judge John Neilan was told by the law that the lads are alleged to have been involved in a fierce scatter altogether that took place at Dalton Park housing estate or Mullingar Reginonal Hospital, again, after dinner.

Its believed that the scatter was part of an ongoing row between 2 families.

Locals (non- knackers) said that they saw 30 knackers, f'#@king stones and other shite at each other in what was described as a "riot".

The law say that the scatter was caused by what they described as a "king of the tinkers-style fist fight",or a kick shit.

Residents (Posh locals) say that its been going on for months between the 2 families but only really kicked off today.

More than 20 law were at the scatter to tell people to "stall the balls and cool the emotions, before some-one loses an eye". They went to say that it was a fierce scatter altogether with over 100 lads getting stuck in.

One house damaged by the scatter has had a €5,000 grant claim entered to Westmeath Co. Council in order to have the front door "re-aligned".

Further hop-ons were reported ,again after dinner but before tea and before they all set off for a pint.

Now thats better its gets to the point and there is no "horseshite" about it.

I probably wouldn't mind queueing for petrol if there was a shortage, but to end up in a queue for no reason at all is absolutely infuriating. There are free pumps, but we're sitting in a queue. All because there are a group of boneheads who insist on waiting for the pump to be on the same side as their petrol cap.

It makes no bloody difference! The pump will reach. You can use any pump.

To demonstrate the point, below is a picture of me filling my car up with the petrol cap "on the wrong side". Quite clearly there is loads of room.

Ah yes, its that time of year again when the builders get their annual 2 week holiday, for one thing I can't believe that in 2008 this tradition is still being upheld.

Anyway this years break will be longer for some as an estimated 10,000 will not have a job when they are meant to return in 2 weeks.Well based on what I witnessed last night, before 9pm, is anything to go by, a vast majority will be either injured, in prison, or dead before the 2 weeks will be up.

As I will not be able over the next few weeks I decided to get a kebab and chips after I had a few pints, I went to the take away only to be met by a gang of middle aged arsehole builders, langerated 1, inside and outside the takeaway, shouting and threatening the staff with taunts such as "why d'ont ye f#@k -off home and give us our jobs back". The aggression was everywhere.

Irish builders might be pissed off because they are losing their jobs , I can understand that, but to show extreme racism towards 4 Eastern European workers is wrong. Another thing perhaps they should look at themselves, I did'nt see one non Irish construction worker pissed and taunting anyone.

Perhaps they should ask themselves "why am I being let go?", rather than acting like a latch 2.

1 "langerated" to be extremely drunk and to act like a langer when drunk

2 "latch" a foolish person, idiot

Having made it to Uhuru Peak, Africa's highest point, the last thing I expected was to almost lose an eye. Yet this very nearly happened as some eejit wedged a metal plate into the sign that marks the peak, to hang a memento on. As the plate is at eye level it's invisible. I turned right into it, and caught my eye..

Should I be surprised? No. Tourists the world over do some extraordinary and really annoying shit. You can't let them out you know. The most annoying for me was a young woman posing on an Ahu, one of the sacred platforms for the Easter Island Moai, for an entire afternoon, just obstructing the view without a care for anyone else. That was annoying, but chipping a piece from a Moai ear to retain as a keepsake as a Finnish tourist did this year - that's just plain shit..

And speaking of which, in the Atacama desert, one of the magical places of the world, a tourist ruined the natural rock formation known as the three Maria's when he climbed up on one of the figures for a photo shoot and broke it. Way to go ass#*le!

Unfortunately, I have to use the services of the Dublin Taxi Service. The standard is absolutely appalling, the cars are old and smelly, the cab drivers are old and smelly, but they come with attitude.

They are experts on everything, they apparently knew that the "recession" was coming, they say that it'll be "worse than the 1980's" and yet they drive a smelly cab for a living. They are also never wrong as they "know what I am bleedin talkin about'

They are agressive as I found out this morning, I was going to the same place as I have been going for the past 3 weeks, I joined the queue and every thing was moving along nicely, taxi came to the rank and the next person(s) get in. They gobshite taxi driver stops to pick someone else up half way up the rank.

 A woman standing next to me says "typical", I walked up to the taxi driver, and said "there is a queue of people up here waiting", he attacked "How the f#ck did I know "he said, "Why, were you driving with you eyes closed,and its a taxi rank, and there are people standing in the rain" I replied .He drew up to the top of the queue gets out of the cab and comes towards me" D'ont you ever f#cking touch my cab again"

I looked straight at him without opening my mouth, He shouts "whose f#cking next", all of the people ahead of me to a person said that they would not get into the cab, with a "lunatic", I think a woman from Northern Ireland called him, he was'nt happy, and off he sped, without a fare, still giving me loads.

Tomorrow will mark my 15th and last Dublin taxi of the 14 previous I would say that 3 of them were genuinely decent people trying to make a living, and provided a quality service, but unfortunatley they appear to be in the minority.

If there are approx 16000 taxi licences in the Dublin area, that would mean that about 3400 are providing a good service, and I for one am willing to pay for good service, whilst 12600 are just there to take your money and treat you like shite.

We do have a taxi regulator in this country perhaps we should start letting her know when things are shite. I did today when I got home by email.

One other thing if you are'nt making a living from being a dublin taxi driver, give it up, and stop whinging, its not everyone else's fault. Thats basic economics

I noticed an awful lot of middle-aged men, of which I am one, now d'ont tuck their shirts inside their trousers anymore. When did this become a fashion statement?.

They look feckin stupid with their shirt tales hanging out over their arses and the front hiding the substantial girth that they has amassed over the years. They look like walking marquees.

Christ when I was growing up,tucking in your shirt was a must, my father used to say "show a little respect for yourself and tuck your shirt in ". I continue to do it today,and insist that my own son tucks his shirt in .

Would these people wear a suit with their shirts out? no, so why do it when you are wearing "casual" clothes.

Whats next no trousers?

For feck sake tuck your shirt in you look stupid, and no, you d'ont look 20 years younger either.

There is to be a push in Ireland to get students to study Latin. In 1971, 9061 students took Latin as part of the Leaving Certificate, this reduced to 117 students in 2007.

Reason, Latin sucks.

Simple.

While watching the news last night a story in relation to the upcoming "Partnership" talks, for those who have'nt heard of this I'll explain simply.

Years ago it was decided for the Government and the Trade Unions to sit down and negotiate pay increases, social policy etc, for the betterment of everyone and the economy as a whole. It has worked very well and many feel that it assisted in the creation of the "Celtic Tiger".

The Irish Congress of Trade Unions have voted to again, enter into these talks with the Government with the usual left wing bullshit, more pay for workers blah,blah,blah.

What I noticed was all the various trade union heads were wearing expensive business suits, I said to myself where are all the socialists gone, you remember the socialist activist, desert boots, chunky jumper, beard, (they nearly all had beards, must be a marxist thing) copy of the "Marxist and Leninist " under their arm, shouting and debating openly for the rights of the less fortunate in society.

Now its expensive business suits, powerpoint presentations, PR consultants, and spin doctors lurking in the shadows, the trade union activists now look and act like capitalists.

It would appear that socialism is dead, which is a shame we need different points of view, you may not agree with the view, but we need different points of view to the homogenised claptrap that is shovelled out everyday by Governments and their agencies.

 I remember the guy who religiously walked through many pubs in Cork selling the "Marxist and Leninist" despite the collapse of communism going on all over the world, and engaging in debate with capitalists like myself, now they are all gone.

A song from Billy Bragg now would be appropriate.

Why is doing the weekly shop such a pain in the feckin arse ?.

I have just completed another "sortie" to the supermarket, I use military terms because I now plan my weekly shopping trip with military precision.

I make a list, I visualise the route I am going to take through the isles, I have a few contingencies in my head just in case something out of the ordinary happens. I now go early in the morning in order to get the feckin thing done and out of the way, and to avoid some of the feckin ejeets that occupy parts of my world.

This becomes a bigger chore when my children are with me due to school holidays, for the constant pleas "Daddy can I have this " or "this is my favourite" despite knowing that the last time we bought that "favourite" it ended up in the bin with a large blue hairy mould attached to it. When I say "no" and I do, just because my six year old decides to throw a hissy fit does'nt mean that everyone has to stop their shopping to have a gawk, I genuinely feel like telling them to "piss off"(not my children, the gawkers).

Another thing I firmly believe that people should be taught how to push a trolley through a supermarket, I love the common practice of simply abandoning the trolley in the middle of the isle whilst the owner peruses the shelves, meanwhile a trolley tailback is now forming behind the offending trolley, and still the perusing continues. Perhaps the trolleys should come with hazard warning lights that can be switched on when stopping. Why can't people simply think?. Just pull your trolley to one side and this will allow other shoppers to pass, you moron.

Couple the above with the trolley pusher that simple bashes their way around the supermarket, you begin to wonder what goes on in peoples heads, if anything at all.

And just when you think that people cant get any ruder(not sure if thats a word,but I'm using it anyway), you find yourself looking for a product, you stand, well I stand, about 2 feet from the shelf and some gobshite squeezes into the 2 foot gap between you and the shelf, whats all that about? you feel like giving him/her a kick up the arse.

When all this is done and your trolley is full to the brim, you finally make it to the check-out, the gateway out of the hell you have just endured. You spot a checkout with another customer almost finished you pull up and begin to unload your shopping, you're half way through the unloading and the checkout person says "I'm closing this position now", "Why did'nt you tell me that when I arrived?" I ask, a shrug of the shoulders is the reply.

You relocate and get unloading again, the first question from the checkout assistant "do you have a loyalty card ?", "No I d'ont" the assistant looks shocked, everyone has a card, the cards are free, she continues in a state of shock.

Beep,beep, beep, your shopping gets scanned and pushed down, so that you can pack them yourself, the checkout assistant makes no feckin effort to help you , and then it happens the person behind "only has a few items" and the checkout assistant starts scanning eventhough you're not finished. I am boiling now, "excuse me can you please display some level of manners and allow me to finish my packing before you attend to other customers" I hiss, you know they think you're a grumpy old fart but I d'ont care manners are free.

So the next time you decide to part with your hard earned cash and do the weekly shop, just be prepared for the gawker, the trolley abandoner, the unhelpful checkout assistant,and the pusher.

Why are old sheets and pieces of cardboard beginning to replace the traditional birthday card? Hang them up on a fence at the bottom of the road or over a bridge. They'll be so excited when they see their birthday sheet!

I have great faith in a website www.skyscanner.net, that provides a service to millions of users. With this website you can pick a source & a destination and they will find direct and indirect flights. In addittion they give you the prices from the various airlines one of these all being Ryanair.

This afternoon, I log on to see about some cheap flights to the Canaries for September and see a note about Ryanairs prices not being available anymore so I follow the link to the news site that Ryanair have made a blanket request to all websites carrying their prices to polease refrain from doing so.

Quel Domage as they say in France,  Do they not realise taht Skyscanner only indicates the flight availability and price, but when you go to do the booking the surfer is tranported to the airlines website i.e. Ryanair, and there is no fees or commissions from Skyscanner.

Skyscanner have removed the prices in anticipation of negotiations with Ryanair and to get their prices back up. I hope they do soon as this is an excellent site and service to teh user, and the Airlines like Ryanair benefit greatly.

Come on Mick, give us back our sourcing service by getting the information back active with Skyscanner.

Speaking of Ryanair, I blogged a while ago about giving priase where due, and I can only repeat this again. I had some elderly relations have reason to visit Fuerteventura courtsey of Ryanair, one of them requires teh use of a wheel chair and they had nothing but the HIGHEST of praise for the Ryanair service both in Dublin, Fuertenvura airports and on the plane.

Roll on Ryanair, keep up the good work.

Did you know that you need a TV Licence for a Satellite Dish ?. No I didn't think so.

Let me tell you a story that has really p*ssed me off.

Last November i moved into a new house, unfortunatley I was not able to sell my current house so I tried to rent it out. I finally succeded this week. Anyway last week my empty house had a visit from a TV Licence Inspector, who left a note saying he would be back within 14 days because he observed an Aerial on my house.

I have a satellite dish not a TV aeriel, I also have a broadband aerial, maybe this was what he seen. I don't think so.

So how many of us know we need an TV Licence for an aeriel NOT MANY I BET.

Do they tell us this in all the TV & Radio advertisement. No F**king way.

So here I am now, having always bought my licence since 1980, embarassed that a house I am trying to let/sell with the benefit of a Satellite Dish & Broadband aeriel embarassed that I am breaking the law.

when we moved into the new house we contatced the boffins at teh TV Licence department of An Post and told them what we were doing and they said that we could bring our existing licence with us and they would update their records. They never once said we needed to have a licence in the empty house for the aeriel. Why NOT I ask you ????

Anyway doing my good citizen bit I decided to call An Post and tell them about me moving and there being no TV in teh house etc. and I went on line to get teh number to call. You would expect a national free phone number for something like National TV Licences - NO WAY. Call your local TV licence office. There is none for Kildare, so I assumed well Dublin is next Door and the Capital they should be able to help me, No can do, you must call Birr - Birr is in flamin Offally not Kildare, so away I go calling an 057 number. I called at least 10 times over 1 1/2 hours always engaged. Maybe there were a lot of people in Kildare trying to query TV Licences, so instead I sent an email.

I received a very nice reply to day telling me

Unfortunately it is the case that a property owner should have a TV licence for an adddress if there is any TV broadcasting signal receiving apparatus at an address. However, it should be noted that in order for An Post to prosecute anyone for non possession of a TV licence an inspector has to actually find someone in possession of a TV signal receiving apparatus at an address.

So learn your lesson from this.

Thankfully I have a tenant moving in this week and it is now his responsibility to have a licence.

By the way, the guy at the Birr TV licence office wants me to give my new tenants details to him. NO WAY he can get them himself. I told teh tenant to expect a call from the licence inspector. Hopefully he will be transferring a licence from another address so there will be no extra fee for them or RTE.