Being reading this site for a while now am missing The Markster and his pictures. Whats with the disappearing trick ? have you like just gone away.

And as for Blacksheep, you are the man with these highbrow blogs, just a pity that you cant get the hyphens in the right place in words like weren't. !!!

Thats my moan for now, disappearing Marksters and bad bad English

B

I had a few options

1. undertake
2. flash headlights
3. begin tailgating

I am not a fan of either of these options, and was stupid enough to think common sense might prevail. The bonehead would look in his rear view mirror and make way. But being bereft of common sense he didn't do that and I should have undertaken him.

This is the same type of eejit that comes off a slip road and makes an immediate beeline for the fast lane even though their acceleration is never going to match the speed of existing traffic. And the type of eejit who waits until the very last moment to try and cut across lanes to make it to the exit, applying their brakes suddenly, usually in both fast and middle lanes in their hurry to get off in time.

In reality Britian fininshed 4th in the medal table which under olympic rules does'nt warrant a medal. Additionally most of the medals were won in non conventional sports like BMX Riding, and just because London is Hosting the Olympics in 2012 does'nt mean that they'll be the best ever, They w'ont............. despite the Borrs Boffoon stating that we did this before, yes Boris in 1908, Christ would someone explain to Boris we have moved on

Why do we insist on giving cancer names that makes it sound invinsible?. Don't get me wrong, cancer is a horrible,horrible insidious disease, that unfortunately kills 11000 people in Ireland every year. But for some reason we Irish have a habit of giving it names such as the "Big C" making it almost mythical and invinsible.

When I was diagnosed with my cancer in Dec 07, I saw at first hand the the effect it had on my family and friends, some were shattered and wept openly other's just kept going. This is as I said a horrible disease, but its not invinsible.

During my journey( and I'm not finished) seeking a cure for this feckin disease, I have had the endure a lot of hospitalisation,injections,blood tests, surgery, radiotherapy on my brain, and gallons of chemotherapy, all willingly, because I want to spend the rest of my life wife my wife and children. It really annoys me when I hear people refer to this disease as invinsible,IT IS'NT.

Cancer is defeatable,numerous people defeat this disease everyday, and they are from all ages and backrounds. They are the brave ones, they are they the one's that decided that this disease was'nt invinsible and that any suffering was worth it, a price that had to be paid.

All of us wish we did'nt have this feckin disease, I wish I was at home now with my wife and children rather than sitting in isolation in a Dublin Hospital but I have chosen to live, and for me to achieve this goal I need to go through this treatment.

I'm no Nuala O Faolain, I d'ont regard any time that chemotherapy gives me as being dirty in anyway, and I'm certainly not weak for deciding to live. I will visit all those places that I want to when I'm better ,not before hand.

Bravery has many facets but I can honestly say that the pure unbridled bravey is all around us when it comes to fighting this disease, patients,nurses,doctors its not a bed of roses but we all "suck up and plough on" together.

Another thing, why do people automatically say " I'm so sorry" when you tell them that you have cancer, I was playing golf two weeks ago and one of the lads I was playing said that. I suppose its difficult for people to know what to say, and I respect that, but there must be a better way.

Perhaps asking them what type of cancer it is, or what kind of treatment are they going through or will be going through, be positive they will appreciate it, I know I do. Christ knows there are enough negatives associated with having this disease, we need as many postives as possible.

Every morning I say the following two things to myself

"Today I need to ensure that positives outweigh the negatives, at least that way I know I'm winning" and

"Success is my only motherfucking option " (Eminem)

So please stop making cancer bigger than it actually is, remember 1 in 3 of us will get this disease at sometime in our lives so we better get used to giving it a funt up the hole.

As I said its curable

Knackers at it all Day in Mullingar

by Blacksheep

8 shams have been hauled up in front of court with something to do with a large scatter in Mullingar Co. Westmeath today,it happened after dinner. Initial reports indicate knackers are involved

6 knackers ,that were actually in court, fair dues to them, were charged with "acting the langer" with 2 others were charged with "acting the complete langer and flahing the situation all altogether".

All 8 were kept in so that they would reappear in Tullamore,s District court on Monday, with the help of god.

The wig Judge John Neilan was told by the law that the lads are alleged to have been involved in a fierce scatter altogether that took place at Dalton Park housing estate or Mullingar Reginonal Hospital, again, after dinner.

Its believed that the scatter was part of an ongoing row between 2 families.

Locals (non- knackers) said that they saw 30 knackers, f'#@king stones and other shite at each other in what was described as a "riot".

The law say that the scatter was caused by what they described as a "king of the tinkers-style fist fight",or a kick shit.

Residents (Posh locals) say that its been going on for months between the 2 families but only really kicked off today.

More than 20 law were at the scatter to tell people to "stall the balls and cool the emotions, before some-one loses an eye". They went to say that it was a fierce scatter altogether with over 100 lads getting stuck in.

One house damaged by the scatter has had a €5,000 grant claim entered to Westmeath Co. Council in order to have the front door "re-aligned".

Further hop-ons were reported ,again after dinner but before tea and before they all set off for a pint.

Now thats better its gets to the point and there is no "horseshite" about it.

It makes no bloody difference! The pump will reach. You can use any pump.

To demonstrate the point, below is a picture of me filling my car up with the petrol cap "on the wrong side". Quite clearly there is loads of room.

Anyway this years break will be longer for some as an estimated 10,000 will not have a job when they are meant to return in 2 weeks.Well based on what I witnessed last night, before 9pm, is anything to go by, a vast majority will be either injured, in prison, or dead before the 2 weeks will be up.

As I will not be able over the next few weeks I decided to get a kebab and chips after I had a few pints, I went to the take away only to be met by a gang of middle aged arsehole builders, langerated 1, inside and outside the takeaway, shouting and threatening the staff with taunts such as "why d'ont ye f#@k -off home and give us our jobs back". The aggression was everywhere.

Irish builders might be pissed off because they are losing their jobs , I can understand that, but to show extreme racism towards 4 Eastern European workers is wrong. Another thing perhaps they should look at themselves, I did'nt see one non Irish construction worker pissed and taunting anyone.

Perhaps they should ask themselves "why am I being let go?", rather than acting like a latch 2.

1 "langerated" to be extremely drunk and to act like a langer when drunk

2 "latch" a foolish person, idiot

Should I be surprised? No. Tourists the world over do some extraordinary and really annoying shit. You can't let them out you know. The most annoying for me was a young woman posing on an Ahu, one of the sacred platforms for the Easter Island Moai, for an entire afternoon, just obstructing the view without a care for anyone else. That was annoying, but chipping a piece from a Moai ear to retain as a keepsake as a Finnish tourist did this year - that's just plain shit..

And speaking of which, in the Atacama desert, one of the magical places of the world, a tourist ruined the natural rock formation known as the three Maria's when he climbed up on one of the figures for a photo shoot and broke it. Way to go ass#*le!

Christ I must be getting old, I just d'ont understand what fashion is anymore.

I was in Dublin and was looking to buy a pair of casual trousers, so after a browse I chose a pair and go to the cashier, it should be pointed out that these were going to cost me €90.

When I went to the cashier, I said to the girl that there was a little fray on the pockets and could I have an unfrayed pair from the stores as there are no other pairs in my size on the shelves. She looked at me as if I was from space, "thats the way they are, its fashion",I replied with astonishment etched on my face "I'll leave them, this means all the trousers I have at home are now in fashion".

I walked out of the store shocked, but it gets worse, while walking to get my train I noticed a woman walking in front of me with writing on the arse of her track suit, it said "eye candy" in shiny porn style letters.

When I say that there was nothing sexy about this, you really need to use a mental picture that will in honesty cause you sleepless nights.

Suffice it to say that a message such as "wideload" or "do not pass if turning left" would have been more appropriate. And for feck sake, G string knickers riding up around the shoulders is’nt sexy either.

They are experts on everything, they apparently knew that the "recession" was coming, they say that it'll be "worse than the 1980's" and yet they drive a smelly cab for a living. They are also never wrong as they "know what I am bleedin talkin about'

They are agressive as I found out this morning, I was going to the same place as I have been going for the past 3 weeks, I joined the queue and every thing was moving along nicely, taxi came to the rank and the next person(s) get in. They gobshite taxi driver stops to pick someone else up half way up the rank.

 A woman standing next to me says "typical", I walked up to the taxi driver, and said "there is a queue of people up here waiting", he attacked "How the f#ck did I know "he said, "Why, were you driving with you eyes closed,and its a taxi rank, and there are people standing in the rain" I replied .He drew up to the top of the queue gets out of the cab and comes towards me" D'ont you ever f#cking touch my cab again"

I looked straight at him without opening my mouth, He shouts "whose f#cking next", all of the people ahead of me to a person said that they would not get into the cab, with a "lunatic", I think a woman from Northern Ireland called him, he was'nt happy, and off he sped, without a fare, still giving me loads.

Tomorrow will mark my 15th and last Dublin taxi of the 14 previous I would say that 3 of them were genuinely decent people trying to make a living, and provided a quality service, but unfortunatley they appear to be in the minority.

If there are approx 16000 taxi licences in the Dublin area, that would mean that about 3400 are providing a good service, and I for one am willing to pay for good service, whilst 12600 are just there to take your money and treat you like shite.

We do have a taxi regulator in this country perhaps we should start letting her know when things are shite. I did today when I got home by email.

One other thing if you are'nt making a living from being a dublin taxi driver, give it up, and stop whinging, its not everyone else's fault. Thats basic economics

They look feckin stupid with their shirt tales hanging out over their arses and the front hiding the substantial girth that they has amassed over the years. They look like walking marquees.

Christ when I was growing up,tucking in your shirt was a must, my father used to say "show a little respect for yourself and tuck your shirt in ". I continue to do it today,and insist that my own son tucks his shirt in .

Would these people wear a suit with their shirts out? no, so why do it when you are wearing "casual" clothes.

Whats next no trousers?

For feck sake tuck your shirt in you look stupid, and no, you d'ont look 20 years younger either.

Reason, Latin sucks.

Simple.

Years ago it was decided for the Government and the Trade Unions to sit down and negotiate pay increases, social policy etc, for the betterment of everyone and the economy as a whole. It has worked very well and many feel that it assisted in the creation of the "Celtic Tiger".

The Irish Congress of Trade Unions have voted to again, enter into these talks with the Government with the usual left wing bullshit, more pay for workers blah,blah,blah.

What I noticed was all the various trade union heads were wearing expensive business suits, I said to myself where are all the socialists gone, you remember the socialist activist, desert boots, chunky jumper, beard, (they nearly all had beards, must be a marxist thing) copy of the "Marxist and Leninist " under their arm, shouting and debating openly for the rights of the less fortunate in society.

Now its expensive business suits, powerpoint presentations, PR consultants, and spin doctors lurking in the shadows, the trade union activists now look and act like capitalists.

It would appear that socialism is dead, which is a shame we need different points of view, you may not agree with the view, but we need different points of view to the homogenised claptrap that is shovelled out everyday by Governments and their agencies.

 I remember the guy who religiously walked through many pubs in Cork selling the "Marxist and Leninist" despite the collapse of communism going on all over the world, and engaging in debate with capitalists like myself, now they are all gone.

A song from Billy Bragg now would be appropriate.

I have just completed another "sortie" to the supermarket, I use military terms because I now plan my weekly shopping trip with military precision.

I make a list, I visualise the route I am going to take through the isles, I have a few contingencies in my head just in case something out of the ordinary happens. I now go early in the morning in order to get the feckin thing done and out of the way, and to avoid some of the feckin ejeets that occupy parts of my world.

This becomes a bigger chore when my children are with me due to school holidays, for the constant pleas "Daddy can I have this " or "this is my favourite" despite knowing that the last time we bought that "favourite" it ended up in the bin with a large blue hairy mould attached to it. When I say "no" and I do, just because my six year old decides to throw a hissy fit does'nt mean that everyone has to stop their shopping to have a gawk, I genuinely feel like telling them to "piss off"(not my children, the gawkers).

Another thing I firmly believe that people should be taught how to push a trolley through a supermarket, I love the common practice of simply abandoning the trolley in the middle of the isle whilst the owner peruses the shelves, meanwhile a trolley tailback is now forming behind the offending trolley, and still the perusing continues. Perhaps the trolleys should come with hazard warning lights that can be switched on when stopping. Why can't people simply think?. Just pull your trolley to one side and this will allow other shoppers to pass, you moron.

Couple the above with the trolley pusher that simple bashes their way around the supermarket, you begin to wonder what goes on in peoples heads, if anything at all.

And just when you think that people cant get any ruder(not sure if thats a word,but I'm using it anyway), you find yourself looking for a product, you stand, well I stand, about 2 feet from the shelf and some gobshite squeezes into the 2 foot gap between you and the shelf, whats all that about? you feel like giving him/her a kick up the arse.

When all this is done and your trolley is full to the brim, you finally make it to the check-out, the gateway out of the hell you have just endured. You spot a checkout with another customer almost finished you pull up and begin to unload your shopping, you're half way through the unloading and the checkout person says "I'm closing this position now", "Why did'nt you tell me that when I arrived?" I ask, a shrug of the shoulders is the reply.

You relocate and get unloading again, the first question from the checkout assistant "do you have a loyalty card ?", "No I d'ont" the assistant looks shocked, everyone has a card, the cards are free, she continues in a state of shock.

Beep,beep, beep, your shopping gets scanned and pushed down, so that you can pack them yourself, the checkout assistant makes no feckin effort to help you , and then it happens the person behind "only has a few items" and the checkout assistant starts scanning eventhough you're not finished. I am boiling now, "excuse me can you please display some level of manners and allow me to finish my packing before you attend to other customers" I hiss, you know they think you're a grumpy old fart but I d'ont care manners are free.

So the next time you decide to part with your hard earned cash and do the weekly shop, just be prepared for the gawker, the trolley abandoner, the unhelpful checkout assistant,and the pusher.