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Gordon Brown unveils plans to create 100,000 jobs in a public spending programme rumoured to include the construction of a giant Sphinx in London's Canary Wharf. The Sphinx will have a contemporary twist and is to be built with the head of Gordon Brown on the body of a lion. 

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"Recession" the evil word that was uttered by an economist in June 08 (tues) and has blighted our daily lives since. People are lost they are forlorn they d'ont know where to turn.

Comparisons to the 80's are everywhere, for christ sake I've being singing "To Shy" by Kajagoogoo for weeks now and leaving my stubble grow for that "Miami Vice" look.

But wait, here are 5 reasons why we should welcome this recession with open arms...

1. Builders will have to learn English and manners, if they are to have any chance of selling anything. "F##k this and F##k that, and F##k off will not cut it with potential customers
2. Construction workers will now be paid a "reasonable"  wage and not €1.40 per block which was the norm. And they wonder why they have been let off "to expensive and shit quality" thats why, enjoy the dole.
3. Auctioneers now will actually have to work for a living, they'll have to call back when they say, and they'll have to tell the truth to prospective buyers, as the buyers now have time to check out the bona fides given.
4. Banks will never lose, but its nice to watch the bastards squirm, bastards, ah a bit of luck one might fall over.
5. The consumer might get back his/her place ie being the spender on goods and prices that offer quality and value, we have for to long being arse raped its now our turn to box clever, after all its our money

We have this opportunity let's use it..............................

PS Just read that there are 15000 more women than men signing on , so if you are a single bloke looking for love, check out the local dole office, its cheaper than pubs.

Ah yes, its that time of year again when the builders get their annual 2 week holiday, for one thing I can't believe that in 2008 this tradition is still being upheld.

Anyway this years break will be longer for some as an estimated 10,000 will not have a job when they are meant to return in 2 weeks.Well based on what I witnessed last night, before 9pm, is anything to go by, a vast majority will be either injured, in prison, or dead before the 2 weeks will be up.

As I will not be able over the next few weeks I decided to get a kebab and chips after I had a few pints, I went to the take away only to be met by a gang of middle aged arsehole builders, langerated 1, inside and outside the takeaway, shouting and threatening the staff with taunts such as "why d'ont ye f#@k -off home and give us our jobs back". The aggression was everywhere.

Irish builders might be pissed off because they are losing their jobs , I can understand that, but to show extreme racism towards 4 Eastern European workers is wrong. Another thing perhaps they should look at themselves, I did'nt see one non Irish construction worker pissed and taunting anyone.

Perhaps they should ask themselves "why am I being let go?", rather than acting like a latch 2.

1 "langerated" to be extremely drunk and to act like a langer when drunk

2 "latch" a foolish person, idiot