Blog DOB: 01 Nov, 2012
Name: jay sam
When the Big Idea was on Sky One I was'nt a fan. However if life teaches you one thing is always expect the unexpected. During the programme there were many featured "inventions" that were trying to win the first prize of Â£100,000. Needless to say some of the ideas were naff and some of the ideas were very naff. One "invention" was the Splash Proof Keyboard, which I must admit, I thought very naff, but true to form I found a market for it.
My daughter is ill at the moment with a "tummy bug" accompanied with all the usual explostions that accompany this ailment. As she is out of school and bored she was spending time online playing games on www.CBBC.co.uk. I was elsewhere doing something when the cry came "Daddy I'm being sick, again", and being a good girl she was'nt lying. When I arrived at the study door, there it was the keyboard immersed in "sick".I have attempted to clean it but it just does'nt look or smell the same, luckily I had a spare.
The lesson for all of us here is that if you see an invention that you feel is a little naff and uncommercial, bear in mind that sometime in the future you may be confronted with a situation when you recall a product/service that you wished you had now.
I wonder if that lad went into production with his idea, I might buy a few for spares if I can find him.
Thankfully its over, it will be remembered by those who suffered watching it as the worst business programme ever screened. When I originally blogged in October I felt that perhaps they would improve they did'nt they actually got worse, Di Stewart take a bow, its rare that something so bad could be made worse but you pulled it off with aplomb.
The format for last nights show was a quick review of the invention and the inventor would give a 30 second pitch to convince the watching public to vote for them. A 30 second pitch the same time you have to make a word from 9 letters on C4's "Countdown". Like most of the inventions the pitches were rubbish, unprofessional and perfect for car crash TV.
To be a little nice I will list the finalists and the inventions as it will be the last time anybody will refer to them or their inventions. The list is in no particular order as I could'nt be arsed remembering them as they appeared on the show.
1 Ian Davies inventor of Bandi ( a paper thing that helps people to pull plugs from sockets, you will still need to use your hands).
2 John Watling inventor of Kattnapper (fold away cat box, unfortunately not big enough to hold a badger).
3 Andrew Hubert von Staufer inventor of Skirider ( I liked this, has potentional, and the inventors name sounds like an inventor's name, but I still think I saw something similar on BBC's "Dragons Den").
4 Julian Peck inventor of Cyclaire ( bicycle pump, I thought we had these already).
5 Des Morley inventor of Flexirest ( flexible extention for your cue, I did see a homemade sign in the audience saying "Flexi is Sexi", so it may have other uses)
6 Phil Green inventor of Plaster Socket Template ( what can I say, very useful for electricians who are blind)
7 Paul Sheedy inventor of Spinning Straw ( this was the wildcard entry and he could'nt win the second time around, wonder if he regrets selling his house).
The Winner was the bicycle pump, Â£100,000 for inventing a bicycle pump, well done, then again what would you expect when the success or otherwise depended initially on a studio audience and for the finale, a phone in. Richard Bacon did say that it would take five minutes to count the votes, not quiet X- Factor interest. Vodafone will also provide free mobile communications for a year for the winner, I have a feeling that vodafone wo'nt need to make any special provisions on its accounts for this potential liability.
In addition to the main prize there was a Â£5000 or a 5% share of future profits for a member of the audience if they predicted the correct outcome. A lad by the name of Kevin won this, here is my advice to Kevin take the money and run quickly you will never make Â£5k as easy.
As Christmas is coming I have asked Santa to ensure that there is not a repeat of this programme next year.
As for the mentors, well I can only assume that Craig Johnston and Karan Bilimoria will contacting their legal people to ensure that all traces of this programme are destroyed, and I dare say finding the agent that sold them the idea and suing said same agent for attempted character assassination.
Ruth Badger will be running around the place punching the air with glee with all the exposure she has recieved.
Word to the wise Ruth try talking as opposed to shouting,and stop pointing at people, its rude,and its particularily rude when its done as if you are standing in a football ground on a Saturday afternoon, clients usually expect professionalism when they employ consultants.Finally go easy on the red wine as the "splash proof keyboard" is'nt in production yet.
Finally Dick Strawbridge just go away.
It even pains me to sit down and write this blog as I need to recall what I viewed at 9pm last night.If you did'nt see it I am sure that it will be repeated so check your TV listings (or my advice is d'ont). The show is meant to find the next big invention of our times. The show had a panel of "experts" more about them later.
So what kind of inventions were on the show ? here are a few that I looked at before I flicked away.
From what I could understand the studio audience would pick the winner and the grand final would be a phone in (live). So you have say 100 people(picked from the street) who will determine the success of a new invention, novel.
Added to this the panel was comprised of 3 people, one guy invented a football boot that made the football bend and swerve in the air,the guy how invented "Cobra Beer" and Ruth Badger "star of the Apprentice" and now a business consultant, but has'nt invented anything yet.
It has to be the worst business show I have ever seen. It makes me think that if the guy who invented the wheel was up in front of them he would be rejected. Questions like "so you took a square and shaved off the sides" or "I dont get it what will it be used for exactly?"
I can't wait for the "Dragon's Den" to return at least the panel has an appreciation of business, and to be fair the people that appear on it are far more professional than the "inventors" that appeared last night.